I am an enthusiastic advocate of networking as a method to identify contacts that can help you progress professionally. I have not always been this way, however. Until 2012, I was filled with anxiety at the prospect of reaching out to anyone to talk about my skills and what I might offer a prospective employer.

To put things quite simply, networking always seemed like “sales” to me, and I doubt I could sell someone trapped in a desert a bottle of water. Additionally, it is said that people are normally better at selling things they believe in, and when the “product” was me, back in 2012 I couldn’t think of a product I believed less in.

So what changed?

The full answer is “many things” but I want to focus on one particular thing – my view of what the networking relationship could be.

I wish I had a particular “aha” moment I could point to, and I am almost certain I had some help arriving at this thought, but I began to think of networking not as “how can this person help me” but “what knowledge do I have that can help this person?”

When I started to view things through this lens, I had already worked at a very large financial services company, and while I wasn’t interested in working there any more, I still knew plenty of people who still worked there. Possibly the person I was talking to needed something from my network. Or they could benefit from some of my other skills – public speaking, writing, technology.

Looking at networking as an opportunity to help others instead of asking others to help me gave me the boost I needed to get over the anxiety of the process. If you find yourself feeling anxious about it, try reframing things this way.

Addendum: I have had the books of Orville Pierson recommended to me in the past regarding both networking and general career search skills. He is full of great advice about networking and I plan to write more about him in a future post.